Post breakfast at the LSEF

© Roger Short 2010

Doris “I see they both had their new women in court yesterday, beautiful young ladies they say”.

“Figuratively speaking?” chipped in Charley and at the same time making a smirky grin at Harold.

“They seem to be worried about money though” continued Doris. “They didn’t park their cars outside the court, you know they got fined for illegal parking on Tuesday”.

Thomas was studying the newspaper “Seems that the smart geezer is maybe not so smart after all”.

“Why is that?”

“Seems like he is offering some other dodgy geezer five per cent if he wins the case” added Thomas as he continued studying the newspaper articles.

“Yes” intervened Harold “But this other geezer can’t appear in court because he is on an Interpol wanted list for suspected money laundering in Spain”.

Richard looked up from his laptop: “Bit of a Jekyll and Hyde this geezer – they say he is a mobster, then he gets off Scot free in Switzerland and he has got a foundation to help terrorist victims”.

“It says here also that he sued another of one of the dodgy geezers (age 40 worth twenty-eight billion dollars) over some business deals, says also that they were involved in the aluminum wars of the 1990s, a lot of people got bumped off”

“Isn’t the young geezer the one who invited the Teflon’s geezer’s best mate, the spin geezer, on to his yacht when he was working in Brussels?” asked Thomas.

“It appears so, and he got some preferential trade deals” replied Richard scrolling down on his laptop: “seems to have caused a bit of a problem for the spin geezer though. He claimed there was nothing dodgy but the paper that has just celebrated its 50th anniversary claims he can always sniff out money”.

“That wasn’t the 25million yacht that the smart geezer gave to the five-per cent geezer” interrupted Doris: “He must be in a bad shape, avoiding paying parking fines, giving away yachts, paying all those wives alimony. I told Janice that launderettes were a risky business”.

“Na” replied Thomas “These dodgy geezers have all got yachts, the not-so-smart geezer who owns that football club up-river owns the biggest in the world”.

“But back to the Jekyll and Hyde geezer, seems a few years back he and his missus were deported from Heathrow when they arrived from Switzerland because they had false passports. When they arrived back in Switzerland they were nicked for having false driving licenses”.

Cynical Harold couldn’t resist a comment: “I wonder why he needed a false passport, after he and most of his mates have got Israeli passports, I mean we don’t mind them coming into the country”

“Why is it these dodgy geezers always seem to be either in Switzerland, Israel or England” asked an innocent Charley.

“It’s because of the easy money laundering laws, they don’t even have them in Israel” shouted red-faced Thomas “Our government just made an agreement with Switzerland to make it even easier; you see our mobsters in government couldn’t give a shite about ordinary people like you and me. They want to create employment for those in the ponces’ betting shops over there”

Harold tried to calm him down: “But Teflon geezer also welcomed them when he was in power”

“Yeah, but according to these articles he’s no better than the five-per cent geezer” added Richard “And according to what they say about his dealings in Sierra Leone, five per cent ain’t enough for him”.

Doris needed to contribute in her particular area of expertise: “Your Teflon geezer also seems to go to Israel a lot. I read the other day in that newspaper, you know the one that is always causing trouble, that he may have a bit on the side over there”.

“Figuratively speaking?” asked Charley.

“Ha Ha”

Everyone turned to look at at Richard who was pointing at his screen: “Seems like the five per-cent geezer in the past was arrested at Heathrow for being in possession of a hand gun”

“Sounds like a reliable witness to me. Anyway, the smart geezer has already said he is not part of the mafia. With friends like that, you don’t need enemies”

“Maybe the five per-cent geezer has set up the foundation to help the smart geezer’s family in case he gets blown away. He said the other day that either the sour geezer or the mob wanted him out of the way”.

“I don’t think there would be enough money to go around” said Doris “I mean with all those wives and all that”.

Thomas was pacing up-and-down the room, steaming: “They are all the bloody same! We need a revolution, all we get is hot air, they’re all in it together, what do you think Jonathan you reformed ponce?”

Thomas walked over to the table where Jonathan. was sitting.

Jonathan snatched two packets of sugar from his ex-colleague who was about to give an additional layer to his porridge.

“I suppose so” quivered Jonathan who had still not got used to Thomas’ fits of revolutionary rage.

Thomas turned to Jonathan’s ex-colleague: “Why the extra sugar? Markets bad in Tokyo, worried about your bonus – you feeble poncing shite”

Harold again intervened to calm things down:”Actually, Timothy here has enrolled for some of Finance and Ethics workshops”

“Just watch out for the brown sugar” said wagging his finger at a trembling Timothy. Was it fear of Thomas or the effects of the brown sugar he had tried for the first time.

“What’s with the brown sugar?” asked Harold.

“I keep away from the sugar” said bacon sandwich munching Charley “You remember I came over all queer that time I tried the porridge. Anyway, I am getting all confused. I didn’t know all these money washing vehicles, you know launderettes could cause so much trouble. I better warn Janice”

Then a strange noise came from Timothy’s rear

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